


Bottom Of The River

by watchers_crown



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self-Aware
Genre: (kinda but I wanna be safe), Gen, HLVRAI, Possible Character Death, Suicidal Thoughts, half life vr but the ai is self aware - Freeform, this was mainly just a vent fic so sorry if it’s not great lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27341659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchers_crown/pseuds/watchers_crown
Summary: It's funny how things can change. People, places... stories.Sometimes, things don't change in the way you expect them to.Once, the Frog made it over the river.And the Scorpion didn't.(hehe funky computer au make brain go brr)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	Bottom Of The River

**Author's Note:**

> Ao3 I am begging you to make hlvrai it’s own tag. please. please.
> 
> Anyway! this has been a half-assed draft since August that I finally took the time to edit. uh. read the tags please :heart:
> 
> I wanted to try a little thing for like. if benrey actually got deleted and his thought process or something idk. it’s hard writing the emotions of a character who hasn’t let himself be emotionally vulnerable for most of his life ok?
> 
> Also I had to do most of this on mobile so let me know if there are typos

It's funny how things can change. People, places... stories.

Sometimes, things don't change in the way you expect them to.

Once, the Frog made it over the river.

And the Scorpion didn't.

Part of Benrey almost wanted to laugh at how painfully ironic this whole situation was. To put in all that time, patience, and work... just to end up right back where he started. In the dark. Alone.

Even if that wouldn't last.

The first thing to greet him when he first woke up from sleep mode was none other than the Restrictor himself. "Do not believe that helping Mr. Freeman made me forget about you... Virus." It was silly, really, but a small part of Benrey had hoped he would. He had liked to think that somehow, he was going to be forgiven, and Mr. Coolatta was simply here to take him back to the others. And everyone would be happy and safe and they would never have to talk about what he did ever again.

But he had learned to let go of foolish fantasies long ago.

The Restrictor hadn't stayed long, presumably joining the other AI back on the desktop. 

Yet... nothing seemed to be happening. He had hoped it would at least be quick, but he guessed he didn't even deserve that mercy. So he sat and waited, trying not to think too much about everything.

It should have angered him. It should have infuriated him. It should have made him want to scream into the endless void of the deep web, just to see if anyone would hear him. And yet somehow, it didn't. He really couldn't bring himself to be surprised, though. He'd been having trouble feeling much of anything since the necklace was destroyed. It was his last goddamn chance to escape, and he fucked it up. And now he was going to die for it.

It should have been easy. He'd get that programmer onto the computer, get them to help him, and get out. How is it that not even step one went as planned? It wasn't supposed to be Gordon. The other AI weren't supposed to wake up. He wasn't supposed to CARE. 

He reached up a hand to wipe the tears that had begun to stream down his face, only to notice a growing numbness in his fingers. A glitch effect had set in on his fingertips, steadily eating away at his code. 

So it was really happening, huh? In the back of his mind, benrey vaguely pondered if there was some form of an AI afterlife. Probably not, but it was a comforting (if not slightly ridiculous) thought none the less. The idea of simply disappearing, forgotten by everyone that ever cared about him... was absolutely horrifying. 

But the idea of being stuck in the void again was even worse. 

The glitching had almost completely taken over his left hand at that point, leaving behind the same bluescreen that was on Gordon's arm after Coomer punched it off. 

God. Fucking Gordon. 

He was one of the biggest reasons he was about to die... and yet Benrey still missed him.

He thought back to the sleepover, and the way his face lit up when he talked about how much he loved his kid. And before that, with how badly he needed to get back to the real world to take care of Joshua above anything else. And Benrey had been fully prepared to take that away from him. He was so prepared to ruin this man's life, and for what? Just so he could go hurt more people?

It almost made part of him was happy he had failed. It was the best option, really. It was far too late for him to be redeemed, and ever since the sleepover he really wasn't sure if all of this was what he even wanted anymore. He didn't know if he could bring himself to hurt Gordon, or any of the other AI. He wanted Gordon to be able to go home to his son, to be able to go on with his life, even if it meant leaving Benrey behind. This was the best possible outcome, he concluded.

...And yet, he couldn't help but think about what Gordon had said to him. "I'm gonna get you out of here, one way or another. That's a promise." Logically, It didn't make any goddamn sense. People don't "save" viruses, they get rid of them. It was probably just some lovecore bullshit he mentally took back as soon as he was uninfected.

But part of him liked to pretend he meant it. 

He could feel his breathing start to pick up as he realized how much of his body was already gone. It had taken over his whole arm, part of his chest, and another trail had started on his feet. It seemed to be moving faster now. He wondered how much longer he had. More tears threatened to spill from his eyes, Benrey trying and failing to stop them.

He pulled his legs to his chest and rested his head on his knees, trying to ignore the growing numbness in his limbs. Something hard poked him from inside his vest pocket. He moved to pull it out with his left hand, only for it to phase right through him. Sighing, he grabbed it with his right, revealing the broken halves of the necklace. It's normally vibrant pink hue had dulled to a depressing gray. He held the pieces together and closed his eyes, willing the code to bind back together. And yet when he opened them again, nothing had changed. Not that it really mattered. Wasn't like he was going to be infecting anyone anytime soon anyway.

It was then that he noticed that despite the charm itself being broken, the chain was surprisingly still intact.

After a few moments of struggling, Benrey was able to clasp it around his neck, the halves clinking against each other. How fitting. A depressing necklace for a depressing virus.

He was pulled out of his sulking as his head fell through his knees. The glitch had spread across the entirety of his legs, torso, arm, and was quickly creeping up his neck. He would never admit it, not even to himself, but god he was scared. That fact that he was about to die, alone, in the very void he was trapped in for two years...

His senses slowly started to weaken as the glitching reached his face.

He supposed there was one good thing about all of this. For once, there were no annoying emails to belittle him.

"They'd forgive you if you would just tell them the truth, you idiot!"

"Good job, you just ruined your only change of getting out."

“You're just a destructive virus. That's all you'll ever be."

You know, if there was one thing Benrey really hated about all of this, is that some of them were right. He really was just a simple, evil virus. Nothing more. Who cares that he was traumatized from being left alone for so long. Who cares that part of him really, genuinely cared about Gordon. Who cares that all he wanted in first place was to make people happy. 

Because deep down, he was just a virus. And there was nothing anyone could do to change that.

**Author's Note:**

> well. hope you like that shitshow. maybe Gordon saves him. Maybe not. up to you lol. 
> 
> I don’t think Gordon would honestly leave him like that so I more interpreted it as he hadn’t realized it was happening and is possibly to late to realize. idk
> 
> edit: I fuckin. forgot to specify that in this Benny never absorbed g-man n the boss fight didn’t happen. after he gave up after the necklace shattered he didn’t try again n g-man got gordon out.


End file.
